The cookie dough incident

OK, so this has nothing to do with Ella, but it's really weighing on me and I need to do something to relieve the angst, if possible.

L requested for his treat cookie dough during my last grocery trip, and I complied. So last night, I went to have a glob or two and discovered just three left. Out of the whole package.

It had been a long, busy day, the baby was to bed and I wanted to just sit with my kid on the couch, each of us with a book in hand, nose in book, and eat something crappy for my fat ass.

Three cookie dough globs in the whole package.

I took a bite of one.

And then L asked me if he could have them.

At this point, I totally lost my temper. In true asshole fashion, I shoved the package at him and launched into dramatic tirade about how I never get anything for myself, that I have to share everything, blah blah blah. I then basically threw the half-eaten blob onto the package and told him to eat it all.

Is it normal to shove your problems down an 8-year-old's throat? How about a day after the child has turned 8? Yes, it had been his birthday the day before.

After some back-and-forthing with him telling me never mind, he ate the two blobs. But it doesn't end there.

I tried to make him eat the half-eaten blob as well.

And then I made him cry as I told him he had to eat it.

At some point, I came back to understanding exactly what a fucking wretched thing I was doing (not to mention stupid. You force kids to eat vegetables, not cookie dough) and I quit. This is the shit that haunted children carry with them into therapy sessions. Crazy-ass mothering.

So I quit yelling at my little boy. After I made him cry.

For being an 8-year-old boy who wanted cookie dough.